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Tumblr – Why I hate it, and why you should too

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past few years, or have had part of your brain removed, Tumblr is an ever-growing micro blogging site that apparently has a lot of features—but I’m damned if I can ever see them, as the site is almost always down.

Tumblr is down...again

Before reading on, it may be worth noting that I refer to Tumblr as a website/site, even though it implies that the system is accessible via the internet, which for the most part, is untrue.

The easiest way for me to explain Tumblr is that it is a LiveJournal for hipsters, and if there are two things we do not need, they’re another LiveJournal, and a place outside of StarBucks where hipsters can congregate. If you don’t know what a hipster is, you’re an idiot, and if you don’t know what LiveJournal is, you’re probably 14, and shouldn’t be allowed on the internet, ever!

Right, back to the point! The main reason I do not like Tumblr is its lack of reliability. Almost every time I attempt to view a site that is hosted on Tumblr, I am greeted with some sort of message detailing that the servers are receiving a high load, or there’s some issue, and to check back later.

Tumbeasts

Now, thanks to The Oatmeal, the error page has a nice little image on it, and explains that the Tumbeasts haven’t been fed. That being said, the image depicts some small green creatures resembling Pokemon, doing what I can only presume is copulating with the servers. This image actually annoys me more than the simple page we used to see, simply because I find myself planning a murderous pilgrimage to the Tumblr server farms, not for the ‘technicians’, but to push these Tumbeasts right over the brink of extinction. Any site that makes me want to destroy the population of some small furry animal isn’t a good one.

Let’s presume for a minute that these creatures aren’t real, and that the real incompetence lies between the server and the back of the chair—.ie., their technicians. A while back, on my personal site, I hypothesised that the naming of this particular website was down to the server technicians fondness to spend their entire days tumbling down hills like a bunch of mountain goats short a chromosome, and I’ve yet to see any evidence proving otherwise.

Once you get down to it, the real reason I hate Tumblr is that it has the potential to be great, but is somewhat poorly executed, and as a web developer myself specializing in large-scale applications, this makes me very angry. As much as I’d like to reach out and fix the issues I see, I cannot, and am forced to sit refreshing a page, hoping that, by some chance, the site will load.

If you’re curious, I did previously have a Tumblr account. It was removed once I came across an image of a roaring bear, surrounded and covered in snow, with the best caption ever—simply because, as far as I am concerned, there is nothing that Tumblr could provide that could ever top that image.

Tumblr has two great sites hosted on it, and one site that is only hilarious because of its presence.

The first of these is Insanity Wolf, which is a meme created by something like 4chan, some time ago. Now, while this images are in most cases offensive, and deal with obscene topics, they are absolutely hilarious, especially when you imagine an angry wolf saying them.

The second is Clients From Hell, which as many of you will know, is a site where individuals can post excerpts of discussions with clients that are ridiculously funny. Anyone in the IT industry knows this site isn’t only funny but stupidly accurate.

The third site that is only hilarious, due to its presence, is the Twitter server-status site. Hosting a site whose sole purpose is to inform others about any issues with other servers, on a platform that goes down more than my ex-girlfriend (which for those of you who don’t know—and I imagine a lot of you know—is a lot), is like employing pyromaniacs to work at a petrol station. If you didn’t get that subtle reference, I basically mean that, besides being ultimately hilarious, it’s stupid.

It’s safe to say that I hate Tumblr, my ex-girlfriend, and (if you use Tumblr and like it), I probably hate you, too. If you disagree with this article, and find that I haven’t detailed enough reasons for my abrupt statement that you should also hate Tumblr, then you should simply hate it, because I damned well said so.

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75 Comments

  1. anonymous
    Posted 18/05/2011 at 10:09 AM | Permalink

    You’re already the best writer on this site. Damn, you probably didn’t need that ego boost, did you!

  2. Posted 18/05/2011 at 10:20 AM | Permalink

    This article really made me angry. And it’s not because it’s a load of rubbish either, despite how that might have sounded….

    Reading through the article, I thought that ‘Clients from Hell’ site sounded like good fun. I’ve not seen that before and it sounds like I might be missing out. And Tumblr can’t be that unreliable right? I mean, it must be up sometimes right? It’s a service and everything, lots of people use it… it must be at least usable, right?.

    Turns out the answer is no. Clicking on the link just gives me this. Thanks a flipping bunch Tumblr!

    So to sum up, all I wanted to do was have a little bit of light amusement and instead I end up annoyed at seeing that. And seriously, it’s not like you can be having that much trouble – I mean serving up that ‘down’ message was pretty fast wasn’t it. Sort it out.

    Clearly the author of this article is entirely correct.

    • Posted 18/05/2011 at 10:23 AM | Permalink

      I shouldn’t find it as funny as I do, but the fact that you followed a link to a Tumblr site in the hope of exploring one of the only amusing sites on there, to be confronted by a server down message, is ultimately hilarious!

      I’m glad you pointed this out Mark, it helps show people that I’m not just a raving loon, I’m a raving loon who just happens to be correct :D

  3. Posted 18/05/2011 at 10:22 AM | Permalink

    I <3 Tumblr!

  4. James William McNab
    Posted 18/05/2011 at 10:47 AM | Permalink

    I’ve never used Tumblr, but I find the tone of this article unnecessarily insulting.

    I understand that the site is called TechRant but calling anyone who doesn’t agree with your point of view an idiot is the tactic of children.

    • Posted 18/05/2011 at 1:44 PM | Permalink

      I also agree, calling someone an idiot for not agreeing with your point of view is childish, which is why I didn’t do this in the above article. This however, pales in comparison to accusing someone of using childish tactics for something they haven’t done.

  5. Posted 18/05/2011 at 11:29 AM | Permalink

    Come to blogger! We have cookies! And pretty much solid uptime!

    • Posted 30/05/2011 at 1:19 PM | Permalink

      i agree! i think Blogger is better!hohohohoho

  6. Saiayoko
    Posted 01/10/2011 at 11:07 PM | Permalink

    This is glorious. I hate Tumblr for a different reason, but now that I’ve been researching other people who hate it, it just makes me so much happier to know that I’m not the only person on the face of the planet who hates this damned thing. Absolutely great article, my props to you.

  7. Posted 12/01/2012 at 9:51 PM | Permalink

    I have not had time to use tumblr to the degree I would like but I’ve notice it might not be great for the type of tech blog I want to start. It seems to me a site that like pic and one or two sentences after the pic. It’s hard to find something really to read on tumblr.

    • Posted 09/06/2012 at 6:02 PM | Permalink

      hey there and thank you for your info e2€“ I have definitely pieckd up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points using this web site, since I experienced to reload the web site lots of times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your high quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Well Ie2€™m adding this RSS to my email and can look out for much more of your respective exciting content. Make sure you update this again very soon..

  8. Jesusk
    Posted 15/02/2012 at 2:22 AM | Permalink

    The real reason i hate tumblr is because of the ragecomics people they post on it. Now every one thinks that tumblr is responsible for creating it. now every one in my class is like: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL, or TRALALALALALALALAL, or TOLLAHLAHLAHLAHL, or some stupid shit like that. and im like FUCK!

  9. Mecha
    Posted 16/02/2012 at 7:11 AM | Permalink

    I have used tumblr off and on for a year now and I have to say its awful, really, in terms of design and functionality. Most .gifs don’t work unless they’re being reblogged as well as a lot of “themes” are overly complicated in they’re CSS usage. Over all I have to say Im a 24 female with limited coding knowledge…one of their prime age and gender groups and I cant stand its stupidity, that’s not including having to deal with the plethora of other people who are just adding to the stupidity. Not that everyone is an idiot there but its just not helpful.
    Tumblr= over crowded

  10. Posted 30/03/2012 at 4:00 AM | Permalink

    Fuck tumblr,Reddit is way better.

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